This Week

This has been a tough week. The stress and sadness of all that is going on in the lives of those families around us has been weighing heavily on me. It is impossible to not become involved in the lives of the other families whose kids have cancer. Early on, I had guarded my heart against getting to know them, but sweet children draw you in and you can't help but suffer with them. As we anxiously head towards the end of treatment, I am exhausted with this evil disease. I am far past ready to be done with it, for Jordan and for everyone.

Happy Mother's Day

I occasionally think about Sitara's biological mother and know she must wonder how Sitara is doing. What is her family like? Is she loved? Is she being well cared for? One of the most difficult things about Jordan being sick is how I have had to turn over so much of my mother responsibilities to others. However, I have never once wondered whether they were being well cared for or loved, because I have had a star lineup of family and friends standing in for me. I couldn't have asked for a more amazing, nurturing, loving, fun, incredible group of women to do my job as mom for the last year and a half. They have done everything from driving them all over town to activities, countless overnighters, staying up with them when they are sick, feeding them, playing game after game with Sitara, tutoring, field trips, counseling, and loving them. I don't know what I would have done without them. It has been hard on our whole family, but Tate, Luke, and Sitara have thrived and I can only attribute that to our stand-in moms. So a huge "Happy Mother's Day" to my Mom, Cheryl, Julie, Liz, Amy, Maggie, Val, Jennie, Kate, and Kathleen. You are the best!

Nearing the Finish

Jordan starts his second to last chemo tomorrow. So far we are on schedule for finishing on June 3rd. At the end of last August when Jordan was originally supposed to be finished, we had all kinds of things planned to commemorate the end of treatment. The week we found out his tumor was growing was the most tramatic, painful, and devastating week of my life. Worse than his original diagnosis. Not only would Jordan have to endure six plus more months of hell, all of our celebrations,trips, school plans were immediately cancelled. So, it is with terrifying optimism that June 3rd approaches. We are hoping and praying for a big celebration party with all of you sometime in June.

Cousin Ben

We were extremely saddened to learn this week that cousin Ben's scans came back with cancer in his bone marrow. As we have spent the last 8 months with them, as Jordan and Ben receive treatment, there have been many hours in hospital rooms, clinics, surgery, heartache and tears and we are feeling their desperation as they must continue on this journey. They begin an experimental treatment next week. Please pray fervently for it to work. We love you Townes.

Their blog is caringbridge.org/visit/towne.

Why Play With Toys When You Can Unwrap Butter?

That's Jordan unwrapping the butter. He's mostly back to himself after being sick all week. His current past times are getting out whatever kind of food he can and making as big of a mess as he can before discovered, throwing things down the stairs, writing on the furniture, crumpling up homework assignments, and opening the packages of expensive medical supplies.

Chemo starts on Thursday. That's a little earlier and puts us on schedule to be done on June 3rd. Please pray that it is so.

Round 5

It's hard for me to write the next entry and move past the Palm Desert pictures. I sat in the freezing rain at Luke's soccer game wishing we were back. Jordan finished his 5th round of this newer chemo and did really well with it. He currently has a cough that is keeping us all up at night and hasn't been too happy the last couple days, but the chemo didn't seem to bother him much at all. This is why I put out a proposal to our nurse practitioner, to bump up the next 3 rounds so we get to the end sooner. The chemo doesn't seem to bother him as much as all the other things that surround it. My current plan puts him finished on June 3rd. I'm sure I'm driving everyone at the clinic crazy since we have been doing this so long, and I think I can be kind of a know-it-all. I've given up my PT job to become an oncology nurse, just no degree. Hopefully soon, I'll just be a mom.

Golfcarts and Waterslides

We're back and had a great time. It was around 80 degrees the whole time. Jordan had so much fun. His highlights were going in the golf cart with Papa to get popcorn "corn" and lemonade "ade" at the clubhouse. It was a morning ritual. His other highlight was the waterslide at the Marriot (our good friends were staying there). When he hit the water, he said "more!" Anyways, it was a much needed getaway and everyone was happy.

It is hard to come back to cancerland. I liked the warm weather, perfectly manicured yards and breakfast awaiting me in the morning. Things aren't quite so perfect here, but we are plugging away at his treatment and getting closer to the end, so I guess we'll just have to perservere.