Friday, March 28, 2008

California or Bust!

You might think it was December around here as it is snowing and the stockings are hung by the fireplace. This past Christmas was so stressful and chaotic, we decided to do the stocking thing over, but this time they had sunglasses and flip flops, snacks and airplane toys because today we leave for CALIFORNIA! We have kept it a secret until this morning to make sure Jordan would be safe to go, but he is doing well, so today at 3:30 we will leave for my parents' house in Palm Desert. To say we are excited would be the understatement of the year.

Monday, March 24, 2008

Easter



Jordan is doing better and we all had a nice Easter.

Friday, March 21, 2008

Friday

Life is really hard when you start to expect to be disappointed. It has been a rough week and very much of a blur. Jordan has had a urinary tract infection which has made him sick. We have been to the emergency room in the middle of the night, several times to the clinic, have talked to numerous doctors, and unfortunately missed the Wiggles today. It was so sad. I really wanted to tell them how much they have meant to me. That sounds so silly, but there have been so many nights that they were the only thing that distracted Jordan from how rotten he felt. I am really grateful for them. But, Jordan was not feeling well and the trip to Tacoma was not a good idea. We went to the clinic instead. Really the only good thing this week was that 2 surgical procedures were performed yesterday and went well. Jordan had his central line removed and a stint replaced in his ureter. He will get a different more temporary kind of line in a couple weeks, but we were glad to get rid of his port as he has had so many infections and it was the likely cause. Lots of medical jargon, sorry, it's all kind of complicated to explain. He's doing ok tonight, but not feeling that great. Hopefully, tomorrow will be a better day.

Thursday, March 13, 2008

Wiggles Here We Come

Jordan gets to meet the Wiggles! He is one of eight to meet them at the Tacoma Dome next week. He's practicing his dance moves now. Things are looking up.

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Good Scans and the Eating Habits of a Stressed Out Cancer Mom

We had scans today. I have been so anxious about it, I couldn't talk or even write about it in the blog. Good results were anticipated, but there has been so much bad news in the past, I was very stressed.

Yesterday afternoon I spent some time online researching our family's new cancer prevention eating plan. I put out a vegetable and fruit platter for everyone and then I went running. Anxiety was closing in so I spent my run praying and yelling at stupid cancer. I got home and headed out to dinner with my friend who was also trying to distract herself from some stressful life events. We had Jak's steak sandwiches with french fries (not in the cancer prevention eating plan), then went shopping at University Village. Lucy's and Anthropology are good distractions for us. A restless night of sleep and then waking up with that feeling of really, really not wanting to do this day. I couldn't eat breakfast, my stomach was so upset. As we passed the drive through Starbucks, Jordan yelled, "Mom, fee (coffee)!," thinking I had missed the turn off, but I couldn't drink coffee either.

Jordan was a champ. We opted out for the anesthesia as I thought he could hold still for 5 minute scans, and he did great. He held very still and held his arms up in the perfect position. He was a pro for his exam and chemo too. And the great news is, the scans were clear. No cancer in sight. What a relief! Our celebration food is Kidd Valley, also not in the cancer prevention plan or the get fit regime , but Brent brought us back lunch anyways. On the way home, we stopped at Starbucks and Jordan said, "Mom, fee, Yeah!" I'm back to my vegetable platter this afternoon and we are praising God for our beautiful cancer free son.


**Another piece of good news is that Jordan's cousin Ben is home ahead of schedule and doing well. Thank you for including them in your prayers.

Thursday, March 6, 2008

Marathon

I've started running again as a way to get out and to rid myself of all the weight I gained sitting in the hospital for a month. I am a very inconsistent runner. One day I've got lots of energy, the next I'm dragging. It's all a big analogy though. As I run, I think of it as our battle. I'm going to run hard, this cancer is not going to beat me. The last lap, I'm going to run faster. Pretty soon, I'll be running a marathon, like my friend Shannon. But, most days my legs are like concrete, a quarter of a mile and I need to walk. I get home and I'm dead tired.

Jordan is amazing. Cancer won't beat him. He has tons of energy for this marathon of a cancer battle. He bounces back and he's stronger. He says "thanks" to the nurses after they poke him with needles and give him chemo. He runs around the hospital. He takes joy in the simplest things. He is an inspiration to me.

Me, my mind, body, and soul are dragging to the finish line. As the phone rings notifying me of the numerous scans, surgical procedures chemo days left, as we head to the emergency room on the night I need to sleep the most, as we perform the endless medical procedures around the clock, I'm not sure I'm going to make it. But, I refuse to let this beat me, so Lord help me, I will crawl across the finish line if I have to. Jordan will run.