Home

It was a long week, but we are finally home with no infections or viruses or antibiotics that we need to get up in the middle of the night to give. Please pray it stays this way. We'll be back in two weeks for the next chemo admit.

Better Today

Thank you for your prayers. Jordan is much better today. His bright little personality is back. He did throw up briefly, but then seconds later was dancing to his Thomas the Train DVD on the bed. He was saying "hi" to all the nurses today and reminding them who I was by pointing to me saying "my Mom." We're here till Friday doing the rest of his chemo.

1st day of Chemo

We started chemo this evening and will be here till Friday afternoon. I have been so discouraged all day. This was the date scheduled to take out his port, what would have finalized his treatment. I can hardly believe we have to keep doing this. Jordan is still not feeling good and low on energy, but is slowly getting better. Hopefully, the chemo won't knock him down again, I'm not sure I could stand it.

To Children's Tomorrow

Heading off to Children's for our 5 day chemotherapy regiment tomorrow. We are anxious to get it done. Jordan is slowly feeling better. He has just started to want to walk around again and is keeping food down. We're hoping he can keep getting stronger despite the chemotherapy coming on.

The Treadmill

We are not going in for chemo tomorrow because Jordan is still too sick. It will likely be Monday, so we will be there all week. I spent a a lot of time coordinating who was staying with the kids, how they were getting to practice, who would be here when they got home from school, birthday parties, lunches, helpers at the hospital and now I must start over. I asked Brent today, "aren't you exhausted?" He said, "Yeah, it's like being on a treadmill that you can't get off."

More of the Same

More of the same with Jordan. He is still been feeling bad and had to spend the day at Children's getting hydrated. His next chemo may be postponed if he isn't doing better. It is beyond frustrating and I feel like we can't catch our breath before we get knocked down again.

we are weak, He is strong

new lows to speak of. "Give me a break!" type of mentality swirling in our camp. I'll spare the details, but the reality is we are looking for some wins. In my first year of wrestling at PLU, i was on a 7 or 8 match losing streak. I got discouraged and remember wanting to get a win so badly. After last night i feel like i am on that losing streak again. First night home from a week at Children's and Luke threw up all night long. I've now got the bug and feel like stenchy cow manure (please excuse the nasty description). Becky is running on empty, Sitara will celebrate her 6th b-day party without either of the parental units, and Jordan is still trying to put an end to his diarhea, not to mention the rainy day; etc. In the midst of all of it, I here God calling me to obedience and perseverance. Easier said than done...much easier. There is no way I can do it on my own strength. My consoling thought, that continues to drag me through these valleys, is that someone else out there somewhere is going through something equally as challenging or worse (and we've certainly met a few during these past 10 months). I guess all of this points to the joy set before us...heaven! I'm looking forward to better days, but all their is to count in the midst of this storm is "Paradise City". The love and prayers from everyone else has been an abundant provison that He has provided for "strength" in the "here and now". Jesus said: "my strength is made perfect in weakness" II Corinth. 12:9

Home Tomorrow

Jordan got some sort of virus and has been much more lethargic than he usually is. He was feeling better than he was yesterday, and the one good thing in it all is that they put us in isolation so we got our own room. We should be goiong home tomorrow as long as he continues to do better. It has been tough week.

Not Feeling Good

Jordan isn't feeling so great today, and I'm hoping it is just because of all that's been going on and he just needs to rest. I'm not sure that last entry made sense. He has a suprpubic catheter which goes from his bladder out through the skin. When he doesn't need it anymore they'll take it out. Hopefully that is soon. We have a roommate who likes to whine and wail. Nothing like whining and wailing when you're having a rough day.

surgery completed

Jordan had surgery this afternoon to create a bypass out of his bladder through his stomach. This is something that can be redirected if pain clears and his urinary tract gets functional again. We are still hopeful new chemo drug can take out the tumor, but regrowth is not a good thing and it is likely that a larger surgery will take take place in a few months to get rid of all of the cancer. For now, we will spend some more time recovering and doing antibiotics, then go home. Jordan has been a trooper and that continues to inspire us. Family, church, friends have continued to "shock and awe" with love, prayers and encouragement. Ephesians 6:10 "Be strong in the LORD and in His mighty power"

Surgery Tomorrow

The plan is for the surgery tomorrow. They are going to do one more trial with the catheter out in the morning and if he has a lot of pain they will do the surgery to put in a suprapubic catheter which will be in till the inflamation is gone and he has less pain. The surgery is typically a day surgery and not a big deal as far as surgeries go. But, we will probably be here till Friday since he has to have 3 negative blood cultures to go home.

3 more Days

Jordan has a blood infection along with his urinary tract infection. He was his usual energetic self but definately ticked off this morning. He is not feeling good. That earns us at least 3 more days here. The surgery will probably be Wednesday as long as the antibiotics are clearing things up.

Back at Children's

Well we missed Saturday, but we hit every other day last week and Thursday twice. Jordan has a urinary tract infection. I am sick of writing bad news so I'm just going to brag about Jordan for today. He has amazingly more strength and energy than me. He is so sweet to all the caregivers here saying "Hi" and "Bye" to everyone he sees and always wanting to visit his favorite nurses. He willingly holds out his leg for blood pressures and loves to push the button on the thermometer. He is usually found running up and down the halls happy most of the time, even on chemo, even when he doesn't feel good. He loves to give me hugs and squeezes my shoulders over and over saying, "my Mom." He is an amazing little boy and while it breaks my heart that he is spending his childhood on the cancer ward I am so thankful and proud to be his mom.

Back to the ER

We went to the emergency room last night because Jordan was just having too much pain. They put the catheter back in and actually it was a very smooth night unlike the last time. He is doing much better. They are going to put a different kind in next week that is actually a surgical procedure but it should work and allow him to heal from the biopsy better. Next week has just got to get better, right?

A Bad Week

It has been a rough week with too many details to describe. The short of it is we are doing another trial with the catheter out and it has been really hard on Jordan. They expect it to be painful for him, but at this point putting it back in is prolonging the problem so we are trying to tough it out. We had a meeting with the urologist this morning that got both Brent and I down. It is hard to keep going when it seems we are going backwards. I am sorry for all the phone calls I have not returned. We really need the encouragement right now, I am just having a hard time keeping up with all that is going on. We're back to Children's tomorrow and have been everyday since coming home on Monday. What a drag.

Stressful Days

I don't have a lot of good things to say about the past 2 days except thank goodness for my mom and my great friends who have again stepped up to help me when everything is crashing in. Sunday night we were up the whole night dealing with the catheter issue. So far, we have had only good things to say about Children's and have been so grateful for the excellent care Jordan has gotten. Sunday, however, bad nurses, bad luck and a lot of incompentency combined to make a hellish night. One of the worst in this whole cancer experience. We have been home for a day and a half and no sleep, school starting, and piles of laundry have made me feel like I'm drowning in stress. We're back at the hospital tomorrow for an appointment. I think we've got the school thing covered, but it's going to be kind of chaotic until we get into the swing of things. Jordan continues to deal with pain issues surrounding bladder spasms and this stupid catheter. We're hoping they can take it out on Thursday. We'll keep you posted.

My Thoughts

While we were at camp amidst great people and having a super fun time, I said to Brent..." I just want to get in and out of this community as fast as I can. I want to be on the other side." The side that we've been on for our previous life where I am the caregiver and we are the camp counselors. It had nothing to do with the people or the place just the circumstances of our life. And now I realize we are not leaving this community any time soon. I had avoided getting to know families at camp and here in the hospital to a certain degree because it is too hard to hear their stories. Yesterday in a moment when it seemed that there would never come a day without fear and worry and pain, I walked out in the hallway and saw a family I recognized from camp.
She greeted me graciously recognizing I was having a hard time and encouraged me with their story. She reminded me how precious each day is with our children. Next came out the parents of a little girl struggling with her cancer and we all talked about camp, our families, the huskies, life. They seemed like people I had known for years. Their is a bond with those who have walked through the fire and even a joy in sharing the knowledge of what is really meaningful in life. This kind of suffering cannot be explained or understood, but God does reach out His hand and offer hope in unexpected places. I met a friend at camp who was serving as a volunteer there. She had lost her son to cancer 2 years ago. I asked her one day, "Laurie, how are you here? You don't get to choose whether or not you go through a trial like having a child with cancer, but you don't have to be here." She said, "sometimes the best things in life are the hardest." I think that's true.

A Good Night for Jordan

Jordan is doing really well with the new chemo and had a painfree night yesterday with the medications that they gave him. I, however, am feeling like that part in the movie Endurance when the guy reaches the top of the mountain thinking he is almost at his destination only to see a whole range of mountains ahead he must climb. I can hardly believe we are starting this again. My sister and Sean arrive today to visit. We can't wait to see them.